When One Partner Smokes and the Other Doesn’t: How to Balance Cannabis in Relationships

In any relationship, differences in habits and preferences are bound to arise—but when it comes to cannabis, those differences can be a little more complex. Maybe one partner enjoys unwinding with a joint after work, while the other prefers a completely sober lifestyle. Or perhaps one partner supports cannabis use but doesn’t partake themselves.

Whatever the case, navigating a relationship where one person uses cannabis and the other doesn’t requires open communication, mutual respect, and a little compromise. Here’s how to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship when cannabis is part of one partner’s routine but not the other’s.

1. Understand Each Other’s Perspectives

The first step to finding balance is understanding where each person stands on cannabis use. Some people have personal, cultural, or health-related reasons for not using it, while others see it as a regular part of their lifestyle.

Questions to Discuss:

• For the cannabis user: Why do you use cannabis? Is it for relaxation, medical reasons, creativity, or social enjoyment?

• For the non-user: What are your feelings about cannabis? Are there concerns about health, legal issues, or personal experiences?

• For both: What role do you see cannabis playing in your relationship?

Having an open and judgment-free conversation can help each partner feel heard and respected.

2. Set Boundaries That Work for Both of You

A relationship thrives when both people feel comfortable. If one partner doesn’t use cannabis, it’s important to set clear boundaries that respect their preferences while allowing the cannabis user to enjoy their routine.

Possible Boundaries to Consider:

• Where cannabis is consumed: Is it okay to smoke inside, or should it be an outdoor activity? Should edibles or vaporizers be used instead of smoking?

• When cannabis is consumed: Are there certain times it should be avoided, like during important conversations or date nights?

• Social situations: Is the non-user comfortable with cannabis being used around them or in group settings?

• Financial impact: If cannabis is a regular expense, does it affect shared financial responsibilities?

Setting these boundaries early on can prevent misunderstandings and resentment down the road.

3. Address Potential Concerns

If the non-smoking partner has concerns about cannabis use, it's important to acknowledge them and find solutions together.

Common Concerns & How to Address Them:

• “I don’t like the smell.”

  • Try smoking outside, using a vaporizer, or opting for edibles or tinctures.

• “I’m worried it affects your motivation or mood.”

  • Discuss responsible use and make sure cannabis isn’t interfering with responsibilities or emotional availability.

• “I feel left out when you’re high.”

  • Find ways to connect that don’t involve cannabis, or explore activities where both partners feel engaged.

• “I had a negative experience with cannabis in the past.”

  • Share perspectives without pressure. Respect personal experiences while creating a safe space for discussion.

The goal isn’t to convince someone to change their stance but to create understanding and reassurance.

4. Find Ways to Connect Beyond Cannabis

If cannabis is a big part of one partner’s lifestyle but not the other’s, it’s important to cultivate shared activities that don’t revolve around it.

Ideas for Non-Cannabis Bonding Time:

• Plan fun, engaging date nights that don’t involve cannabis.

• Find hobbies you both enjoy, like cooking, hiking, or playing games.

• Prioritize deep conversations and quality time without cannabis use.

• Respect each other’s individual interests while maintaining a strong foundation as a couple.

A healthy relationship is built on connection, not just shared habits.

5. Be Open to Compromise

Finding balance means both partners may need to adjust their expectations. The cannabis user might choose to consume less often or in certain ways that make their partner more comfortable. Meanwhile, the non-user might become more open to occasional use in social or private settings.

Ways to Compromise:

• Choosing more discreet methods (e.g., edibles, tinctures, or vaping).

• Establishing cannabis-free time for important discussions or shared activities.

• Agreeing on how cannabis is stored, especially if there are children in the home.

• Exploring CBD products together for relaxation without the psychoactive effects of THC.

Small compromises can help both partners feel respected and valued in the relationship.

6. Recognize When It’s a Bigger Issue

While cannabis differences can often be worked through with communication and compromise, there are times when they may create deeper relationship conflicts.

Signs Cannabis Is Becoming a Problem in the Relationship:

• One partner feels disrespected or unheard regarding their cannabis stance.

• Cannabis use is interfering with responsibilities, finances, or emotional connection.

• There is secrecy or dishonesty around cannabis consumption.

• Resentment builds due to unmet compromises.

If cannabis use is causing ongoing tension, consider revisiting conversations about boundaries or seeking relationship counseling for additional support.

Final Thoughts: Respect, Balance, and Understanding

A relationship where one person uses cannabis and the other doesn’t can absolutely work—it just takes mutual respect and open communication. Understanding each other’s perspectives, setting clear boundaries, and finding ways to connect beyond cannabis will help create a balanced and healthy partnership.

At the end of the day, love and compatibility go far beyond lifestyle habits. As long as both partners are willing to listen, compromise, and support each other’s choices, cannabis doesn’t have to be a dividing factor—it can just be another aspect of individuality within a strong, thriving relationship.

How do you and your partner navigate cannabis differences? Share your thoughts below!